on birthdays, friendship, and love

I have a secret: I turned 29 on September 21st. There, I said it. I've been trying to come to grips with it for over a week now, and I think the reality has finally sunk in. I'm not usually one to get caught up in the "Oh, no, I'm a year older and trying to deny it!" hysteria, but this year's birthday kind of got to me. I won't pretend that every other birthday hasn't gotten to me--milestones of any kind always do, they always have. I remember sitting on the top step in the house on Hood Street silently bawling my eyes out as Jonathan talked about his plans for life after graduation. I all of a sudden knew at that moment that life would never be the same again--he would leave, then Jeremy, then me, then Joanna. We would go our separate ways, start our own lives, grow old, and start the cycle all over again with our own families. I saw it all there on that stair step. And I have that same cycle-of-life feeling at every little milestone, knowing that in at least some small way, life will never be the same again. So, yeah, birthdays almost always get to me.

But another part of it this year was knowing that I'm now on the edge of 30, with just one more year left of being a 20-something. And even though I don't feel old, that fact alone makes me seem old. 30's always seemed old to me. I mean, I remember when my parents were in their 30's. It's just always been the beginning of "oldness" and now that I'm approaching it I'm realizing that it's really not. I'm having to change my longstanding perception of 30 and beyond.

And yet another part of my lack of enthusiasm for my birthday this year was because we weren't really able to celebrate our birthdays this month. I'm not complaining--we don't usually do much for our birthdays anyways--but we do usually try to do something. We just weren't able to this year; outside stuff just lined up to prevent it from happening at the appropriate time, and we haven't had an opportunity to plan anything since.

So, after experiencing a good but fairly normal birthday, I awoke on September 22nd trying to acknowledge the fact that I really was 29, that my baby really was 11 months old, and that life goes on. And it was in the middle of this mindset that I came into the living room and found an FTD florist box waiting for me. Weird, yes, but whatever. Maybe Mom and Dad sent me flowers? Who knows.

I opened the box and found that my longtime friend, Beth, had not only remembered my birthday, but as is so typical of her, had gone above and beyond the average act of friendship and sent 18 of these beauties in celebration of the day:


Only an old friend could sense the need without actually knowing of it. My gratitude goes beyond words, Beth. I thank God for your presence in my life and I'll always think of you when I think of my 29th birthday.

And that was just the beginning of September 22nd. That afternoon we went to celebrate as two of our friends vowed to become one. And I was reminded of why I love weddings, and especially why I loved my wedding. It's more than just the love and the joy that comes from it--it's the hope. Hope that together two people can create a better life for each other than they would apart. Hope that together they can create a better world to live in than they would apart. I live for that hope, and I love celebrating with people who are determined to make that hope a reality. Congratulations, Chris and Paula. May you make each other and the world around you a better place as you become one.


So here I am, a week and a half after the day, and I can honestly say I'm content with 29. With good friends, family, and the hope of love, life is most definitely worth living. 30's coming? Bring it on. This year will be the best one yet.